I saw myself die. …. Nat Cham
Years ago ever since I was a small boy growing up I used to have a recurring nightmare. I am calling it a nightmare as I was asleep of course, but even though I was asleep I knew I was having the same dream again and I knew I didn’t like it.
Now strangely It wasn’t a nightmare at the moment of dreaming, but it seemed it at the very moment I woke up. I had never told anyone about the dream I kept having until a conversation that I had with my parents when I was about 12 or 13 years old.
The dream was this. I kept dreaming I was looking down on a small baby and I could tell that the small baby was in an operating theater and on the operating table with four surgeons around it. I could see the stomach open and the bright red of the insides which was clearly the intestine they were operating on, I could also see a lot of blood around the baby .
I could feel myself looking down about 4 above the event. there was a bright yellow glow or haze above me which I seemed to be hovering underneath, but there was no floating sensation.
As I looked down at the surgeons working on the baby, I had no personal emotions while I was watching in the dream, although as I said I wasn’t easy with the situation when I woke.
This went on for years and years the same awful dream, then one evening when I was about 12 or 13 just before I was going to bed, I was looking at the slight and faint scar on my stomach, (which I would say the scar is about 6 inches long now.)
My mum and dad proceeded to tell me at great length on how the scar came about, the story of when I was a small child I was very ill, for weeks I was throwing up and being sick after I had been fed, I was losing weight rapidly. My mum was going to the doctors of course, but the doctor kept putting her off and telling my mum many different reasons for what it was, but mum wasn’t happy with what she was being told as now I was just skin and bones.
One evening really late when I was really ill and I had just thrown up my feed again and mum broke down and cried seeing me waste away to nothing and she could tell that I was going to die that night if nothing was done. I was in a very serious situation. My father upset and feeling desperate rang late in the evening emergency services and they sent out another doctor, not our regular doctor.
He was a black Doctor called Dr Gordon, This was England before mass immigration took hold and we lived on the edge of a village, we had never seen a blackman ever before unless it was in a Tarzan film or something. My dad was amazed to see him and thought he was probably going to wave a magic JuJu stick and some berries at me or something (although this has nothing with the story.) The new doctor knew what the problem was Immediately and also that the situation in hand was very grave.
He called for an ambulance straight away and I was rushed to the local hospital where at around midnight they did an emergency operation on me. It appears I had a blockage in my stomach / intestine.
My mum said that the surgeons told her that at one point I had died during the operation and as I was so weak they were amazed that they had managed to revive me. A few hours later mum came in to see me and saw the nurses feeding me, They told her this was my second feed although the first was only a small one, it seemed I was now fine and recovering. My mum told me her and my farther almost sang with joy with seeing me take and hold liquid food…. Guinness I think it was ….. NO only kidding… it was brown ale..
I had been saved in the very jaws of death due to the skill of the surgeons and the knowledge of Dr Gordon.
My mum thought I was messing around because I said “I know I saw it” to which my mum and dad laughed saying “oh you lie”.. “NO, NO, I really did, Honest.” Everything seemed so clear to me now and I told them of the strange dream/nightmare that I kept having over the years, strangely because it was so clear in my mind It was as though I was reviewing what I had seen on a video.
Now the other strange thing was this, ever since that night when mum told me of what had happened to me, I have never had that dream ever again, although it stayed so clear in my mind.
I have thought about this a few times since when people have spoken about their out of body experience’s. When so called experts explain and dismiss away these story’s with the bright light when people are dying that it’s the same as fighter pilots that see a bright light before they black out in negative G as blood flows away from the brain.
Well this may well be true about Pilots, I don’t doubt it at all that the blood flow away from the brain gives the same apparent glow, the body does a lot of things when it is under an enormous stress.
I was once driving down the M1 near Sheffield I was doing about 110 mph when I had a blow out, there was a large explosion and a large 44 ton lorry in front of me and I hit the brakes. Suddenly as I struggled to keep control of the car it seemed as though I was driving at warp speed, but everything else seemed to be slow motion and in black and white. Apparently seeing only in black and white in times of acute panic and life and death situations is common
But in death this doesn’t mean that something else doesn’t exist just because the body does a similar thing in another similar situation, it just means it does it then as well.
In my dream I remember the bright golden light by my side and behind me. This has been documented so many times. They pass that off as something that happens to the brain when lacking oxygen, well that’s fine…. but if I was dying and I was lacking oxygen how would I see myself below as a child as I looked down and I also saw them operating around my intestine, how is that explained.
Also as I watched the operation below me by the surgeons I had no emotion, no feelings, no fear. Then suddenly like a flash the memory stops and goes black.
I cannot explain or try to explain why I had this recurring dream over and over again, or why I never had the dream ever again after I was told what had happened to me.
Many others have such similar dreams though don’t they. So called experts explain it this way to all those that tell stories of this kind, its, either… “the brain does this when short of oxygen, you are lying or you are a crackpot, you are attention seeking, you are trying to sell a story,…. Maybe some are. But maybe, .. just maybe, that is just the way it was.”
Now to be honest, with all these accounts of people seeing the bright light as they die after being resuscitated and then telling us their experience’s, we have to take the story at face value as no one can prove it did or didn’t happen.
But to simple wash all these story,s away by saying “oh this happens when you …” and that’s it all brushed under the carpet is far to simplistic, well it is for me anyway….
The other thing is and this is the last point to all this, although I was only a few months old, I can still remember the look of fear on my mothers face and the feeling of fear it gave me. Even then at such a young age I knew there was something seriously wrong with the situation and it frightened me.
That look of fear on my mums face burned into my memory all at a few month old and I still remember it, Its more of a still picture in my mind with no feeling or emotion to be honest.
I am only recollecting my memory …. That’s all.